Hey, it’s me. It’s 11am on Friday and I’m 3 coffees deep already. Not even the left over Nutella croissants from work this morning kicked me back into gear. I am exhausted.
I know it’s probably no comparison at all, because at the end of the day, I’ve only had to look after myself but this month has been tough – like newborn baby, awake 24/7 tough. As you know (or may not know) I’ve been doing some part time work on top of my full time job for the last month in a bid to get out of the financial rut I’ve found myself in since moving out. The money has been insane and been a complete saving grace (I should hope so after reaching 70hr weeks) but actually, I feel a bit numb and delirious. I’m sitting in work after 28hrs of back to back shifts and have no fucking idea how I made it here.
Everyone told me not to do and I didn’t listen – I kinda thought I could beat it. And don’t get me wrong, it’s been a really good wake up call and I enjoy waitressing. I’ve missed it. But it’s not where I’m at anymore, it’s not really what I want to be doing.
Admittedly, I wish I was an ambitious go-getter but I know I like the easy ride of getting in the office at 8am, making a coffee and chatting over breakfast for half hour, sitting at my desk all day, taking breaks to browse the internet, watch a bit of Kardashian’s or hide in the toilets for a bit of ‘me’ time – there’s been times I’ve even publicly gone in the Zen room for a 20 minute nap. I go home at 4:30 and I cook my dinner and I have a bit of a clean and I shower, make a cuppa and sit in front of the TV with my favourite person and I don’t think about work until 6:30am the next day.
Jesus Christ, I miss that.
I’ve had 4 days off in the last 5 weeks and I’m not coping very well. I wrote out my resignation letter this morning and instantly feel like a weight has been lifted. Yes, I’ll bloody miss the money I’ve earned this month and yes, I’ll miss the free pasta and leftover Croissants but I’m so excited to feel like me again, get my house clean and tidy and chill the fuck out, even if I do live on pennies. I’ve got a couple of weeks left to get through but luckily have a few weekends to myself. I’m seeing my best friends this weekend, I have a beaut girly brunch planned next week, I’m seeing my dad for the first time in a little while, I’m planning on heading home, something I haven’t had time to do this month. I’m gonna sleep so much you have no bloody idea.
It feels good.
The past month has taught me that,
I can do anything if I put my mind to it – I knew something had to change and I did something about it. I’ve given it my all and I know that if ever I needed to, I can do it again (hopefully not plz)
I can survive (not very well) on 5hrs sleep.
Money is a massive motivator for me but actually IS IT?? I grew up thinking I wanted to be hugely successful, have lots of money and stay at work during the night like they do in ‘Suits’ but actually, I just want a simple life. I cannot be arsed for it and if I could retire now, I would. I want to be happy.
No matter how much money you have, you’ll always spend within your means. Having some extra income this month has helped get the bills paid but whatever your earnings, there will always be something that you spend it on. Money is a never ending pain in the arse.
I’ve got it so good where I am. This last month has definitely put things in to perspective. I work so hard where I am and they treat me so well – I definitely feel valued which is a huge difference to how I’ve felt working elsewhere this month.
There are so many rude people – exposure to the general public this month makes me realise how much I hate people hahaha. Thanks for the 2p tip m8.
I’m so grateful for my family and my lovely home – these are my priority and I miss them a lot.
I’m emotionally ready for the future, whatever that might be.
***
Despite the hard work, it’s been a bit of a blessing really int it?
Catch up soon as it’s basically AUTUMN and kinda loving it. Need to get some cosy jumpers in, have allllll the hot chocolates and invest in a new brolly as my god, did the rain destroy it this week.
lovelove,
thehouseonthegreen 