I don’t know what it is about me that attracts every Tom, Dick and Harry for a long distance relationship and it’s safe to say that a couple of those (well all two of those), were laughable failures so when Charlie and I met and he shared the bombshell that he was leaving to travel for 3 months in June, you would have expected me to ditch right there and then.
No way José. I’ve done my fair share of soppy good-byes and I miss you texts, hellll nahhh was I going to go through all of that again…
Two cute months later we became a couple but not once did I pin him down and tell him he couldn’t go because I am a cool and collected girlfriend. SO, June came around and we had cute leaving drinks and went for a Nandos so that he didn’t forget his roots whilst off on his travels and I gave him lots of presents ‘cos I’m so fab and then he left and I had to go to work the next day which was a laugh and now two and a bit months on and a short reunion later, I thought it would be a nice idea to share my journey with you all. Because nobody ever thinks about the gal sitting at home stalking his Facebook pictures. So here goes it.
the 10 stages you go through when your boyfriend goes away.
GONE 3 DAYS – I’ve done all of my grieving and feeling sorry for myself. Plus, it’s the weekend and I’m feeling really good about all of the things I’m going to do whilst he is away. I’m going to lose weight, eat healthy, be a social queen and read every book that has gathered dust since I met him. YEAH, I GOT THIS.
GONE 1 WEEK – Went for one run and hated life, decided exercise is impossible. I also realised I’m too poor for mid-week social gatherings and Baileys ice cream and Netflix is life. There’s no saving me from this lonely pit.
GONE 3 WEEKS – Kept in touch with his family so they know that I still exist and haven’t been dumped from abroad. Lunch with the in-laws also gives me a chance to talk about him constantly and not look like a freak. (Aside from the fact that I just called them in-laws; lol)
GONE 1 MONTH – It’s been a little while now. We’ve spiced it up by drunk face-timing and sending each other Snapchats (you know the ones) We’re sending cute good night texts because we’ve survived a whole month and life is good and I’m really and truly happy he is experiencing all of the things he is experiencing because I’m proper cute and have every faith that we’ll both be bliss come three months’ time.
GONE 1 MONTH AND 2 WEEKS – Life is not okay. How dare he leave me to work whilst he is off getting a tan and swimming in waterfalls?! I am angry about bills and responsibilities and erm WHO is that girl he was tagged with last night?! I WANT HER NAME, FULL ADDRESS AND HER PASSPORT NUMBER PLZ.
GONE 1 MONTH AND 3 WEEKS – I’m indestructible now. I’ve been through the worst and nothing can phase me. I listen to Demi Lovato’s ‘Stone Cold’ on repeat. I am an independent working woman who can survive without lazy Sundays and PDA. Who needs constant attention from a man? Pfffft.
GONE 1 MONTH AND 4 WEEKS – I spend the next week looking at old photos of all of the times we spent together in the same time zone, wondering if life will ever be the same again. I’m only re-reading our WhatsApp for the 349587 time; both, completely normal behaviour.
GONE 2 MONTHS – Panic begins to arise as he has one month left and I still don’t look like Rosie Huntington Whiteley.
GONE 2 MONTHS AND 2 WEEKS – I realise that boring every poor soul about how many days he has left is getting slightly excessive but hey, people do care sureeeely. This is also the time I spend constantly reassuring him that real life is fab and he’ll have the best time coming home… REAL LIFE DOESN’T SUCK I PROMISE.
GONE 3 MONTHS – This is it. He is coming home and I have done absolutely nothing that I said I’d do when he left. I spend the evening contouring a six pack onto my stomach in the hope that he’ll just be too jet lagged to notice it’s fake. I tell him for the billionth time that actually, the past three months has flown by and I barely noticed he was gone at all because I’ve just been so busy. I follow him everywhere in case he leaves without me again.
Long-distance is hard and requires so much more effort and commitment than when both partners are living in the same place. I’m lucky that actually, Charlie is only away for 3 months and that aside from the joking, we’ve done a pretty good job at staying normal. Saying that, for those of you who are in long distance relationships or if your partner goes away a lot for work or is like mine, out seeing the world, it would be good if we could all share some of our tips on how you make it work. Yeah, that’d be cute.
Ps. Note for Charlie – my favourite things are braclets, food and alcohol and will accept a present of any of the above.